Christmas with her family or mine?

**Cojiro** · 08-05-09, 02:03 PM

yeah i agree if she tries to pull something like that and there is no compromising I would probably leave too. Then again im oh so lonely

**33knight33** · 08-05-09, 02:05 PM

Originally Posted by dustyCALIBER

Option to leave :5 LAME

Switch every year.. who is she with you or her mom.. Cut the cord.

Hubby and I switch every year.. one year his fam next mine.. or we have even done the whole Christmas Eve with one then Christmas with the other..

If you can't compromise on the little things like this then ............ well I might know a few ladies

Good luck

Originally Posted by CivilWars

Poop, best advice I can give you is screw both families and go on a cruise. :9

either or both of the above would be my recommendation.

**-Sauso-** · 08-05-09, 02:07 PM

Wow..gave you the door option !... interesting.

We don't have the problem of going to one set of parents or the others....Everyone comes to our place.. since we all live fairly close.

So one day out of the year all of the family comes over and i mean ALL.... :8

**iCeWhoshotme** · 08-06-09, 02:08 PM

Originally Posted by dustyCALIBER

Option to leave :5 LAME

Switch every year.. who is she with you or her mom.. Cut the cord.

Hubby and I switch every year.. one year his fam next mine.. or we have even done the whole Christmas Eve with one then Christmas with the other..

If you can't compromise on the little things like this then ............ well I might know a few ladies

Good luck

I live much closer and I'm part of your clan and I dont get this offer?

That is a rough spot to be in. If you only see her parents one time per year then its not so bad, however the its my family or hit the road is BS.

**Mrs.QuickLightning** · 08-08-09, 07:19 PM

Originally Posted by jmw_man

I understand the need for compromising in relationships but she honestly feels like this is a reasonable compromise due to the fact we would be seeing her family once every year and my family several times a year on every other holiday. I can see her point of view. On the other end, I'd be sacrificing the specific holiday with my family. Technically, the holiday itself is just another day and she said we could see my family the weekend prior or something...

Honestly some compromises aren't compromises at all. You would be seeing your family a few times each year because they're closer. I'm sure if your living arrangements were reversed you would be seeing her family a few times a year. After realizing that she meant you could leave the relationship - I have to agree with most of the boys and Dusty on this one.

Bad situation.

**slowmotionman** · 08-09-09, 01:25 AM

Sounds like this thread should be titled:

Her way or the Highway

**Red_Lizard2** · 08-09-09, 04:58 AM

to add on a different front with it being bad for the kids i would have to argue on that one.

Being i grew up with my Dad's parents about 3 hours away (most of the time) and my Mom's parents about a 5-7 hour flight away (depending on layovers); i saw my dad's side more especially on holiday's but still would see my mom's side about once a year or once every two years. Didn't seem like it confused me or really was a big issue. So i think the "confusing the kids" is a little bullshitty imo.

**Xoria** · 08-27-09, 11:48 PM

Walker's married sibs do the 50/50 Thanksgiving or Christmas flip flop and it seems to work out well. We sort of plan to do the same thing..but somehow my mom has ended up with every Christmas for the last 4 years. I've been weaning my mom off of the notion that she gets all holidays for years, but she also tries to draw the line at Christmas.

Her thinking is, she'll share me when it's legally required (read: married) and not before, but he's more than welcome to join us. Granted, we've never had to push the issue yet. I don't know your girl's family, but if they're old school they may be thinking the same way, or they may just be unwilling to give up the one time the family's all together, maybe the rest of her family can't get together at Easter or whatever.

Of course after the two weeks we spent on the floor last year with some 10 people in the house, I'm seriously considering going over to Civil's way of thinking. :P

As for the whole "option to leave" thing....these are emotional topics, and while it's possible that she's trying to control you in an immature way..perhaps she's also emotionally overthinking..and fast forwarded to a time she sees in the future where everything is all messed up and this was the seed that started it.

Even us non-girly girls have been known to foresee the demise of a relationship over the number of coke cans stacked up by a computer

I'm feeling generous tonight, which is rare, so I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt. for now.

Hang in there Poop, I'm rootin' for ya.