Thread: Box stock settings bring new players

this reminds me a bit of some of the 'new TPG players'
Inside the mind of a bad BF3 player. : battlefield3

These are meant to be satirical in nature and this isn’t anything I do. I just catch people doing a lot of really dumb things and I think to myself, “What the hell are they thinking?” This seems pretty accurate:
If I’m not supposed to shoot at jets 800 meters away in the tank gunner seat then they shouldn’t have given me unlimited ammo.
64 man conquest full server on Caspian Border? Seems like a good time to figure out how these helicopters work.
Quit following me around asking me for ammo, if I wanted points I’d cap flags and you don’t see me doing that now do you?
Wow this is a sneaky sniper spot, great place to set up my bipod for some full auto LMG action.
Sure you might have died because I was going for the knife instead of shooting the guy, but I almost got him that time.
Who are you shooting at? I’ll shoot that way too because I want those kills! Oh jeez, we just got shot in the back.
The safest place for the mobile AA is in base next to the stationary AA. This way I can shoot at infantry across the map while the stationary AA covers me from air targets.
Squad is pinned down by a tank? I’ll spawn recon so I can help everyone sneak away.
Sometimes when I’m in the stationary AA and things are getting slow I like to pass the time blowing up all the base assets.
I find people listen better when I use over the top racism.
When I admin a server, I do my absolute best to make sure I have fun.
Why would I bother checking if my squad perk is different or useful? That’s everyone else’s job.
I only have about ten minutes to play so I’ll just fire up co-op game.
I’m going to drive my tank right behind your tank so in case you lose your nerve and try to back up in a hurry you know to stay and fight.
Typically I don’t wait for teammates because empty jeeps seem to drive faster but sometimes I need people to watch my back when I’m sniping at 1500 meters at the maps edge.
Feel free to add your own!

I'm Squad Leader? Oh, just leave me alone. Can't you see I'm trying to get my next sniper merit badge?

I have to admit that until recently I didn't realize that the Squad upgrades were not additive. I also was uncertain about where to see my mate's squad upgrade. Since I am earning upgrades still (a few more to go) I can't do them all. Hmmm, I wonder how many get the squad upgrade and don't actually use them!

What's most frustrating is the absence of VOIP. It drives me almost crazy to be in a squad that doesn't use TPG TS for VOIP. This is only exacerbated by the fact that typing text is virtually pointless. I can barely see the text and I am typically so engaged in the battle that I don't even notice the text at all. Thus, if you aren't in TS it amounts to a "guessing game" to try and figure out what the SL is intending to do.

Thanks for the repairs! Cya! Wow that guy totally had the same name as my gunner. Weird.

LOL, now that has happened to me. I have to chase down the tank (if I am lucky) ... because naturally, now that his tank is fixed he can get away from the nme tank/soldiers that were pounding him ...

They'll never look at the top of this crane. I'm a clever little ninja.

I should go prone right here in this doorway so I can stay safe from the tank that's chasing all my teammates into this doorway.

So true ...

Now the following is something that bugged me in BF2 as well ...

Hey, there's a jeep! I'll race to that jeep and drive it to the jets and leave it there and go flying! Isn't that what Jeeps are for? What good is it going to do anyone else?

The option to spawn in jets has diminished this a little in BF3, but I still see it ... if it's not jets then they are trying to get to the BMP/APC/Tank ...