Recent Blogs Posts

I've been back on Zyprexa for a while now for my schizophrenia. It worked great in the past, but it gave me the munchies (it was like having a guy pointing a gun at my head telling me to eat); I ended up putting on 60 lb. in 2 months. Luckily, my cholesterol levels stayed well within the safe range. It was either going back onto the Zyprexa...or more severe measures.

Luckily, the Zyprexa is working great, I don't have the munchies, and I've actually lost about 10 lb!

The bitter part is that I pulled the plug on my BF2 subscription. All good things must come to an end, I guess.

The game that most rush. The game that many can not stand to play. The game we both decided to take with out realizing it. During this game we both realized that we both wanted the other. We realized that we were both setup to fail when i tried to make more of things. We realized the reason why we were both setup was so he could say your his, and not mine. But all he did was brush you under the carpet and didn't care about the things in your life, and cheated. He left you a mess, breaking your reputation and making a new one that was not true.

Secretly, you kept from me that you liked me. I didn't keep it much of a secret though that i liked you. During the time we got close to each other. I helped you in the time of need and you ...

I have a 2 and a half year old son. Suffice to say this reduces my ability to be a gamer. In fact, until a few months ago, I hadn't logged any appreciable hours playing games on anything.
I am also a long-time gamer. I got my first computer, a Commodore VIC-20, in 1985 when I was 4. I programmed my first algorithm when I was 5 on my brother's Commodore 64. I broke my first computer when I was about 11 (tried to upgrade a 486SX/33 with one of those add-on turbo chips...). I owned all the 'loser consoles'. I had a NEW Atari 2600 when everyone else had an NES. I had a TurboGrafx 16 when everyone else had an SNES ...

The things you told me about how you didn't like the life you were living. The situations you are in. The aftermath of many destructive forces. The things you wanted differently. The things you wanted. The way you had to deal with them. It all made me realize that we both have similar issues, but in our different ways. All the major things that happened to you through out your life, made mine look miniscule. But you made it through them all, but not it the right way. Keeping them in side you to show that you are not weak. To show that you are fine, when in fact you are crumbling. Nobody to support you, nobody to give help, nobody to give guidance. Only people that made you crumble more. The people that were suppose to help, never did. They ...

Losing control of my mind, wanting for the one i love. Becoming unhealthy from the pain that i feel. Not knowing how to deal with emotions that i have never felt before. Wanting so much in life, but struggling to grasp them. I don't know what to think anymore. I need help, but who would know how i feel. I cant explain my feelings because they are to great to put into words. Stress is known to take a person down, and i cant get back up. Stressed over the little things in life to some, but new and large to me. I cant cope with the stress over the decisions the one i love has made, but i know that i can not hurt her. I try to not hurt my self, but i cant stop thinking of her.

Every time her image appears, the stress takes me over. ...