Thread: 15 reasons why mopeds are better than women

Rock climbing vs. women... Perhaps takes the top for inuendo... I'm sure there's some good ones missing, but this is a long enough read as it is

-You can talk about the size of any rack with impunity.
-Placing your hand on any and all jugs is to be celebrated.
-Tight finger cracks, and loose fist cracks are equally enjoyable.
-Persistent nuts are the safest nuts.
-Good protection feels better.
-It's perfectly fine to hang out half naked and in some sort of bondage gear with whomever you like.
-Your shoes are prettier than hers anyhow.
-Any booty you see is free for the taking.
-It's fine to slide your hand wherever you like in any greasy crack within reach.
-Harnesses and ropes are routine play.
-Staring up at asses for hours in a day is expected and accepted.
-The faster you finish the more successful you were.
-Pinching greasy nipples the first time you see them HELPS you.
-Micro nuts are just as useful as large nuts.
-A crack habit is to be admired.
-When you climb you only have to get yourself to the peak.
-Going with someone aside from your regular partner is fine.
-Three or more people can safely use the same protection.
-Someone else cleans your protection for you, provided you don't put it in too deep.
-You can leave your protection in for the next guy.
-There IS such a thing as being too overhung.
-You can get belayed without kissing.
-No matter how many times you fall off, you can always climb back on.
-Having a belay slave is not a criminal offense.
-The rocks never expect you to call afterward.
-Dry friction is a positive quality when you're climbing.
-The rocks don't care if you show up late.
-The rocks don't complain after 7 or 8 pitches.
-When you're climbing, a good two-finger jam will support your body weight.
-Your belayer never hesitates when you yell "TAKE!"
-When you're climbing, weird body positions are considered "cool".
-The rocks don't scream for help when you try for the on-sight flash.
-You don't have to wait an hour after getting pumped-out.
-If you pop off early, the only one mad at you is yourself.
-If you end up with little bumps on your skin, you can probably blame Poison Ivy or mosquitoes.
-The gear is safer. And reusable.
-No one thinks you're weird if you have to feel around for a hole/hold.
-Climbing w/o gear is safer than sex without gear. At least if you die, you die fast.
-Always something to do with your feet.
-Routes have safety grades, sex partners don't.
-Its ok to stick your hands, feet, fingers, knees, nose, etc into any and all cracks while climbing.
-You don't have to wash your climbing toys after using them.
-Choice of novice or expert routes.
-A climb can last all day, or even several.
-Guidebooks tell you who did the 1st ascent, and significant visitors since.
-Lots of tight cracks.
-The only rubber you wear is on your feet.
-There are still rocks that haven't been touched.
-Most importantly... I actually have someone to climb with.

Originally Posted by jabberwock

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-Most importantly... I actually have someone to climb with.

Awwww...

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