15 reasons why mopeds are better than women

**GoreZiad** · 05-19-08, 08:47 AM

1. Mopeds don't get pregnant

2. Mopeds don't have parents

3. Mopeds don't bitch unless something is really wrong

4. Mopeds don't care if you buy moped magazines.

5. If you call your moped bad names, you don't have to apologize to get to ride it again

6. Moped don't get headaches

7. Mopeds don't diss you like a bad jockey

8. You don't need a bath before you ride it

9. If your moped is ugly, you can always paint it

10. If your moped is a lil' loose, you can always tighten it up

11. You can easily bring home a big moped

12. You can ride your moped everytime of the month

13. You can easily have more than 1 moped

14. You can let your friends borrow your moped

15. You don't have to wash your moped before you ride it

**dustyCALIBER** · 05-19-08, 10:09 AM

Reasons why a motorcycle is better than a man:

1. Doesn't ride with other girls while you are not looking
2. You can turn the pet**** off
3. Doesn't run for 5 minutes and quit
4. You are always on top.
5. You can have more than one motorcycle
6. If you kick it, it doesn't kick back
7. You only have to ride when you want to.
8. You can dress it and clean it anyway you want it and it doesn't complain
9. Doesn't care what other motorcycles you have ridden.
10. You alway finish first
11. Doesn't judge your friends
12. Doesn't get bored if you take it to hang out with your friends.
13. If some one steals it you can get a new one.
14. If it wears out you can get a new one.
15. Doesn't care how you look
16. Doesn't care how big your boobs are.
17. Doesn't care if you gained a little weight
18. Doesn't complain when you don't ride.
19. The exhaust is something you can handle.
20. It never developes spare tires
21. If it goes bald, you can change the tires.
22. Doesn't complain when you use protection
23. Can't get you pregnant or give you a disease if you don't use protection
24. Doesn't care what time of the month it is
25. Don't have in-law drama
26. You don't have to kick it to get it to do something.
27. You can choke a bike and it isn't a bad thing.
28. You can ride it as long as you want without it going limp.
29. You don't have to drink to make it look appealing.
30. Your motorcycle won't insult you.
31. If it smokes you can do something about it.
32. It will always make you proud
33. A smooth motorcycle expects nothing in return
34. Your motorcycle will never make you late
35. You don't have to fake it.
36. Your motorcycle will not lie to you.
37. It will not poke you in the back in the morning when it wants to ride.
38. It has a built-in vibrator.
39. The vibrations are better.
40. It won't shrink when it is cold
41. You don't have to cook for your motorcycle.
42. The motorcycle doesn't snore
43. Doesn't want you to swallow its liquid.
44. It is ok to use tie-downs with your motorcycle
45. Your motorcycle will never ask you to ride 2 up.

**GoreZiad** · 05-19-08, 10:13 AM

Hah, owned

**Adsartha** · 05-19-08, 10:15 AM

Bwahaha. I knew there was a reason I liked hanging around here.

(Now, if my internet would just get fixed, there COULD be a Valkyrie squad...)

**dustyCALIBER** · 05-19-08, 10:16 AM

O and have a nice day !

**DJ Ms. White** · 05-19-08, 10:22 AM

The redhead hasn't had her coffee yet! Run away! Run away!

**Partyball** · 05-19-08, 10:29 AM

All I have to say is fucking mopeds.

**Adsartha** · 05-19-08, 10:36 AM

The brunette's in the process of drinking her Coke, and all she can think of is the Gloria Steinem quote: "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle."

Also, this, though changed for my instrument of choice:

1. A violin never criticizes your driving or presses the imaginary brake.

2. Violins don't make sexist jokes (that's male violinists - there's a difference).

3. A violin won't take advantage of your friend or sister when she's drunk.

4. A violin won't leave you at home to go out drinking with the guys and then come home smelling like a woman's perfume.

5. A violin isn't jealous of your pianist/cellist/section leader/whatever.

6. A violin doesn't care about your bust size, waist line or butt.

7. A violin won't brag about you playing it to it's friends.

8. A violin doesn't think you're a slut if you've had even 20+ violins before it.

9. You won't have to get tested at the clinic after playing a violin.

10. A violin won't get offended if you gag.

Ahem. Y'all were saying?

Originally Posted by Partyball

All I have to say is fucking mopeds.

And, yeah. Fucking mopeds and fucking college students in this town who can't afford real motorcycles and want to look cooler than they think riding a bike makes them look - they haven't figured out that they look like they're on a motorcycle for toddlers, especially when they're 6'+...

**Partyball** · 05-19-08, 10:40 AM

Originally Posted by Adsartha

Originally Posted by Partyball

All I have to say is fucking mopeds.

And, yeah. Fucking mopeds and fucking college students in this town who can't afford real motorcycles and want to look cooler than they think riding a bike makes them look - they haven't figured out that they look like they're on a motorcycle for toddlers, especially when they're 6'+...

Finally someone who understands. I live in Gainesville and they are everwhere.

**DJ Ms. White** · 05-19-08, 10:43 AM

They could be driving those miniature motorcycles that are barely a foot tall.

Some reasons to love a cello:
1) 2 f holes
2) a g string
3) a nut
4)Fun for everyone