Thread: Banned from Wal-Mart

My girlfriend sent me this e-mail and said it reminded her of me.

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and
preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately,
my wife is like most women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear
wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs.Samsel,


Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been
forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.
Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance
cameras.


1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
people's carts when they weren't looking.


2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute
intervals.


3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's
restroom.


4. July 19: Walked up to an20employee and told her in an official voice
'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'


5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's
on layaway.


6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.


7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from; the bedding department.


8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help hi m h e began
crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?


9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror while he picked his nose .


10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he
asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.


11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.


12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look'
by
using different sizes of funnels.


13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME
!'


14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'


And last, but not least ........


15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,
then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'


Regards,



Tom Richards
Walmart Manager

Lol. If this guy were real, I'd want to meet him

The tent one has to be the best.

lol, that list has been going around for awhile...but was longer.

and was titled "ways to stay sane at walmart"

I would shake this man's hand if I ever met him. I'd probably buy him a beer. lol.

I'm so going to turn into that guy when I get old. LOUISVILLE :10