Thread: My Adventure

My Adventure

Or: How my want to help another human ended with me making two teenage girls cry, helping a man buy illegal drugs, and having me soaked in hooker urine.




As a forewarning, I'm taking shots as I type this, so my ability to articulate may go... downhill. It's already at a bottom, so this may get bad.

Anyways, at around 12:30 am today, I was standing outside at a small party wearing a suite. I was wearing a suit because for whatever reason, I thought it would be fun to wear one today. A green car drives past, and then turns around and comes back. A woman honks real quick. Several of us go up to see what she needs. Inside the car is a down-trodden looking black woman who is lost and smells of alcohol. She asks for directions, which we give her several times. She finally says that she will pay someone to just drive her to where she is going. According to her, its just 15 minutes away and all she has to do is pick something up. She also seems intoxicated, and says that she has had a bit to drink. I, being the poor unfortunate soul I am, offer to help. She said that her friend who owned the car gave her a bunch of money to go buy some stuff to drink and that she would have plenty to pay me with. I figured this would be profitable. Oh how wrong I was...

(At this point I was afk for 10 minutes taking another shot and putting my girlfriend to bed. She is very pissed at me that I've decided to type this up instead of play with her, but, I can do that after I type this. *shrug*.)

Anyways, so I get several people to come with. I have a friend named Chase get in his car, along with 2 teenage female friends, and follow us. My friend Casey gets in the back seat of the woman's car, and she gets in the passenger seat. I sit down in the driver's seat.

This is when I feel the liquid soak into my pants and begin to smell urine. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I sat in urine. And not just any urine... hooker urine.

I dont say anything about this urine, as by now, its too late. We set off, as I know the general area where we have to go. The woman begins rambling on about how shes "not going to bring the dick to her place" but will "go to the dick", then says something about putting a rubber band on the guys balls, how she needs a dick because she "aint had none" in a while, and something else. I didn't really listen, as she was drunk. Ultimately, me and Casey gathered from this that she was a hooker. This was backed up by the fact that on the return trip, she said "thats where I was standing, at the bus stop at Dairy Queen."

The 15 minute journey turns into a 30 minute drive as she leads us around construction. The wrong way. Let me explain: Imagine a t, or x, or whatever. Two cross streets, one going NS and one going EW. We are on the South side. She leads us on a detour to the East side, then the North Side, and then to the West side, when we could have just gone to the damn West side in the first place. We had to drive through a bunch of residential areas for this. Grrrr.

We end up at some party store open at 1 am. We are in the ghetto of the city by now. The two girls in the other car are crying, because they are convinced they are going to die. They grew up in a very conservative sheltered part of town. There are black guys with baggy clothing walking around everywhere (I'm not joking, there were atleast 10-15 in sight). Not being racist, just descriptive. The woman gets out of the car and goes inside to buy alcohol (which is apparently the entire purpose of her original trip.)

She comes back with a woman and a guy and says she just ran into her step sister and her step sister's husband. Guess what? They need a ride! So they cram into the back seat with Casey, who by now is freaking out, and is aware that I'm sitting in urine.

We now set out back to where we first got in the car with the woman. About 5 minutes into this drive, the man in the back seat says "yo man, where you going?". He has me turn around and drive back, another 5 minutes PAST where we originally picked him up. He then has me stop at a house in the middle of this neighborhood and turn off my lights. He gets out and says that he will be right back. I ask the woman next to me where hes going, and she says "oh hes just buying some weed and some other shit, aint no worry, just keep those lights off." After a few minutes, the man runs back to the car and jumps in and yells "yo lets go man weve been flagged."

So I get out of there pretty quick. Chase and the two girls follow in their car. An officer follows Chase for a while, so he takes a different road than us to get him off our trail, as the 2 women and the man in our car have opened up a large thing of vodka and are passing it between each other.

We finally get back to where I first found the woman. I drop her off, and she gives me......... 5 dollars.

Yes. Five whole dollars for my hour and a half adventure.

The woman drives off with her two companions, and the two teenage girls in Chase's car get out and both kneel down, crying. I gave the five dollars to Chase.

So ya. That was my night. I made two teenage girls cry, helped a man buy illegal drugs, and got soaked in hooker urine. The only thing I got from this was my girlfriend mad at me for not coming home on time.

*sigh*


(I hope this made sense as, as I said, I've had a few shots, and my girlfriend interrupts me. I may clarify it when I'm sober.)

Thats why I stay at home and play BF2...think how funny that story will be in a few months.

rofl

sounds almost like a party i went too before....i didnt go with the ppl but i saw them leave and come back....damn those hookers.

wow what a journey
thats one to tell the grandkids

HAHA. That was a funny ass story. Where the hell..do you live.

wow what city do you live in?! hehe sounds like the crack heads are infesting your area hehe

Originally Posted by SuckMyRooster

wow what a journey
thats one to tell the grandkids

Are you kidding? He would spend all his money on therapists. :lol:

I think oyur a fucking dumbass, I agree with BD, IM surprised ur not dead