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Thread: Question for building a new comp.
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01-23-09, 03:44 PM #23
the horde part 4 (fan-fic)
quick note:the next horde will start the horde superthread where i start mixing them into one thread to stop spamming the forums
I got up from a well deserved rest, I looked around at my enviroment with nothing unusual to see except the average shreik of an infected killed or being feasted on by it's companions. I trotted along while many ran and dodged, some attempted to stand in my way and deny me, the ones who stayed where quickly mashed. Then my urban environent went hazy, I lost most vision as my head spun. STUPID!!! I never ate, I needed food, I had to survive! I saw a few shambling around in the alleyway, I ran to them plucking one up. The tear of his arm seemed simultaneous to the scrambling footwork of the many. I was about to eat it when my meal threw up a vile disgusting blood and, whatever it was, made me want to puke myself. I mashed my target happily as I wandered out of fair-- fair-- the city...as I slowly died from hunger. Cars littered the highway, signs of fight and running where easily obvious. Then I saw a dream come true a, living cow. I dashed for it hungrely, crushing all opposition. As I came upon it a large jolt nailed me from my side. A bullet? Too small. A rock? Too fleshy. I turned around and too my horror it was fear itself... A tank. He had pinned me, smashing and bashing, I felt something I had never felt since becoming infected...fear, I was scared. Fear of death was still in me. But no longer did he hit me than stumble back in shock, I had snapped. I knew this was survival of the fittest, kill or be killed. I killed with a second strike through the head leaving only a brain matter slushie. I sat there a while, enjoying my well earned feast.
comment please
quicker note: 5 is on paper and will be soon translated to my computer and is even bigger than this one (as in longer)times like this you just wanna die
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01-23-09, 03:49 PM #24
RE
Cant you do wot other people do, if your making fan-fics put them in one thread.
The Horde Thread.
And put all your chapters in they're instead of creating all of these. You will probably go on to like 10 horde and also I prefered 1st and 2nd I didnt like 3rd and 4thIs all hope lost?
[FF] L4D: Hope [FF]
Chapter 1 coming soon.
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01-23-09, 04:02 PM #26
note i did say i would do that when the next comes out...
thanks for the input, (note that 3 was made by my co-writer) i can understand why you liked 1 and 2. for me it was the internal conflict and i will bring that back by 5 with lots of action and suspense but i wanted to show you how deep the story can go to the point of killing each other and ripping each other aparts for the smallest morsel.
im glad you liked it sniped.
so i hear you like mudkipz...times like this you just wanna die
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01-23-09, 04:28 PM #28
As you requested, I read all the currently released installments of "The Horde" and make the following assessment.
The concept is an interesting one - seldom do we see a story from the other side. In a way, it almost makes us feel sorry for the infected - their bodies become horrendously disfigured and deadly while they retain most of their memories, but slowly, inevitably, give in to predatory instinct.
However, I do find it hard to connect emotionally with the character - not that Tanks have much emotion once fully transformed, of course. You could also use some work on your convention and formatting. Sometimes I'm not sure where your sentences end and begin.
Otherwise, I do look forward to seeing more. And definitely put this all into a single thread, it makes finding it much easier. Best of luck.
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01-23-09, 10:33 PM #29By reading this, you are applying for a job as my zombie bait. The pay is good, you get free dental care, and ofcourse: its an outdoor job, loads of jogging and activities.
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