BF2142 - Suez Canal 6-21-07 - BD clan admin abuse

**Angel of death** · 01-27-07, 03:34 PM

**Katie** · 01-27-07, 07:03 PM

Originally Posted by Angel of death

A man walks into a church and tells a priest that he wants to join his religion.

The priest says, "Okay, but there is one rule you have to follow; you cannot get an erection during the testing period." The man agrees.

The priest strips the man of his clothing, ties a bell around his penis and puts him in a room with nine other men who are also trying to join. The priest sends a naked woman across the room and all the bells are quiet, save for the man's.

The man begs for another chance, which finally is granted. The woman walks by and the man's bell rings again. The priest says to the man, "Pick up your stuff and go. You are unfit for this religion."

As the man bends down to pick up his clothes, all the other nine bells start ringing.

Haha, that one literally made me lol. :lol: :Y:

Originally Posted by Angel of death

If there is a crying baby, go over and tell the mother: "IF YOU DON'T SHUT THAT FUCKING THING UP SO HELP ME GOD I'LL KILL IT!!!"

Omg, I always feel the need to do that during church. Someone's baby is always crying and it is the most annoying thing ever. Except today in church when an altar boy was coughing every 2 seconds, literally, and it echoed through the mic the whole mass.

Originally Posted by Angel of death

Dress all in black, or in camo.

There are lots of people in my church that dress in all black...

Originally Posted by Angel of death

Speak in tongues.

We have asians in our church who speak in Japanese or Chinese, I can't tell which one. It's pretty funny cause you can't understand a word they're saying, so you just smile and nod your head.

Originally Posted by Angel of death

There's this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about 2 weeks. One hot day, he sees the home of a missionary. Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house and collapses on the doorstep. The missionary finds him and nurses him back to health. Feeling better, the man asks the missionary for directions to the nearest town. On his way out the backdoor, he sees this horse. He goes back into the house and asks the missionary, "Could I borrow your horse and give it back when I reach the town?"

The missionary says, "Sure but there is a special thing about this horse. You have to say 'Thank God' to make it go and 'Amen' to make it stop."

Not paying much attetion, the man says, "Sure, ok."

So he gets on the horse and says, "Thank God" and the horse starts walking. Then he says, "Thank God, thank God," and the horse starts trotting. Feeling really brave, the man says, "Thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God" and the horse just takes off. Pretty soon he sees this cliff coming up and he's doing everything he can to make the horse stop.

"Whoa, stop, hold on!!!!"

Finally he remembers, "Amen!!"

The horse stops 4 inches from the cliff. Then the man leans back in the saddle and says, "Thank God."

I loved that one... The guy ends up riding off the cliff anyway :lol:

Originally Posted by Angel of death

14. "Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community."

Lol, that would be me :Y:

Originally Posted by Angel of death

and if you read all this my God I'll give you some rep lol...

Lolzz... I did read all of that :lol: It was hilarious! Considering I'm Catholic I suppose it should be offensive, but I'm really not into religion all that much, I am forced to be Catholic by my parents. Great jokes :Y: :lol: Post some more!