Thread: I need a few good laughs..

My 1 day Employment

So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day...
About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

I said pleasantly, 'Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or stupid?'

So I replied,
'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am, I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'

My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.

[img width=335 height=1500]http://api.ning.com/files/5Tz6FFKqa6enykwysGzRgaJpEzQyIwKh0fpD3sM4jVvp7HkKD8 xhtJ3rkQe4m-x2wuQHhTJ1lA*eYwedXBJ*WRpQiBCMlDLv/GuyPickingUpHookersOnGoogleStreetView.jpeg[/img]

For the ladies

Never Argue with a Woman

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides
to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to
take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her
book.
Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and
says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'
'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her..
'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'.
'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at
any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'
'For reading a book,' she replies,
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again,
'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'
'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at
any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'
'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with Sexual assault,' says the
woman.
'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden.
'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could
start at any moment.'
'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

Originally Posted by ems_goof

For the ladies

Never Argue with a Woman

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides
to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to
take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her
book.
Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and
says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'
'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her..
'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'.
'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at
any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'
'For reading a book,' she replies,
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again,
'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'
'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at
any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'
'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with Sexual assault,' says the
woman.
'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden.
'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could
start at any moment.'
'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

HAHAHAHAHA that's a good one goof :9

Originally Posted by Cojiro

[img width=335 height=1500]http://api.ning.com/files/5Tz6FFKqa6enykwysGzRgaJpEzQyIwKh0fpD3sM4jVvp7HkKD8 xhtJ3rkQe4m-x2wuQHhTJ1lA*eYwedXBJ*WRpQiBCMlDLv/GuyPickingUpHookersOnGoogleStreetView.jpeg[/img]

OK, so I have seen this over and over and i still dont get it ........ anyone?

Originally Posted by gatita_andy

OK, so I have seen this over and over and i still dont get it ........ anyone?

I'm a little lost too

When you do a google map search, you can click "Street View" and it will show you images of what the street looks like in that location (if they have the images). This way, you can try to spot visual landmarks to help you find where you're going.

Originally Posted by Walkerxes

When you do a google map search, you can click "Street View" and it will show you images of what the street looks like in that location (if they have the images). This way, you can try to spot visual landmarks to help you find where you're going.

in this case the visual landmark is 2 hookers and a guy pickin them up