Thread: Horror for people who hate horror

I hate horror movies. I really do. 9 times out of ten, maybe 19 out of twenty, they suck. There are several reasons for this and I'll mention a few:

No point.

In most horror movies there's no point to the action other than to see how people can be killed or tortured. They don't bother overmuch with why, just how. This is pointless unless you are a sadist looking for good reference material.
ex: Final Destination

No attachment.

Most horror movies are stocked with characters whose chief attributes are sexy appeal, how dramatically they can utter stock lines uttered in EVERY horror movie, and how loudly (and sexily) they can scream. These characters do not draw anything remotely resembling empathy. They are not worthy of consideration, and if you WANT these people to die in horrible ways that detracts from the point of the movie, which is, ostensibly, to horrify.
ex: Freddie/Jason/Meyers, et al.

No hope.

One of the reasons there is more often than not no point to a horror movie is that at some point or another you find out there is in fact no HOPE of success, and oftentimes no hope even of survival. Nothing robs a scene of its dramatic elements quite like knowing that from a thousand choices can rise only one outcome. Futility sucks, and so do plots with no hope.
ex: Jeepers Creepers

For these and several other reasons I shall not bother to enumerate here, I hate horror... BUT:

There are some movies classified as horror that ARE worth watching. I shall list a few. If you think there are some that fit the bill filled by some of the following movies, then by all means add them to the list. Bear in mind that because I hate horror there are a LOT of horror movies I haven't seen. Following each recommendation I'll give a few brief thoughts. In no particular order....

House: House (1986) - IMDb
I like House for a couple of different reasons. 1) While it does have elements of horror in it, it is in fact actually an adventure comedy film disguised as horror. It's got some VERY campy moments, but you wind up caring for the central character who is in fact COMPETENT. Best of all, this film is not hopeless. Now, the plot is rather farfetched but... hell it's a horror movie. Grab some popcorn.

Cube: Cube (1997) - IMDb
The characters are unique and the acting is solid despite this being a fairly low budget canadian affair. Also notable is that there is absolutely no camp in this movie, anywhere. It is a suspense thriller with a bit of gore, but the gore is neither overstated nor is it the point of the movie, which makes it tolerable. I haven't seen any of the sequels yet, but I plan to. Once again, there is hope here. I also like the fact that while the outer shell of the story is not explained, everything within the cube is very specific and it all has a purpose. The threat is driven by the characters themselves, not some unknown hunter. Novel. Awesome.

1408: 1408 (2007) - IMDb
John Cusak stars in a story about a man with no faith who ironically makes a living writing about hauntings and haunted locations. He meets his match in room 1408 of the Dolphin hotel. This movie is genuinely frightening in the classic sense, fear of the unknown, fear of being driven insane. A psychological thriller; be sure and watch the alternate ending.

Sleepy Hollow: Sleepy Hollow (1999) - IMDb
If you're a gamer, you'll like this movie. One of the forerunners of Sherlock Homes except this one really DOES have a supernatural twist. This is tagged horror mostly for ambiance and gore, but this is really more of an adventure film than horror.

The Rite: The Rite (2011) - IMDb
Suspense thriller.... very good. Anthony Hopkins puts in an excellent performance.

The Wolfman: The Wolfman (2010) - IMDb
Action adventure thinly disguised as horror. Great gamer flick.

Move out of the way Ebert and Roeper, CEBELIUS IS ON THE JOB!

I can't stand any horror movies. I'll never understand what people get out of being frightened.

Originally Posted by Guyver

I can't stand any horror movies. I'll never understand what people get out of being frightened.

I actually do kinda understand the drive though I don't share it as I understand it. People want to feel ALIVE, but more importantly they have a primordial wish to be grateful for that life. Watching horror at once makes you feel frightened vicariously as though your life were the one in danger, then allows you to sit back and sigh in relief that YOUR life wasn't the one taken.

Beyond these base desires there are of course large groups of people who genuinely do have fascinations with gory dismemberment and secretly or openly make a fetish of the murderer/source-of-the-killing in the movies. These people are twisted... but perhaps it's good that they have horror movie outlets. Whether these movies are in fact outlets or rather simply sources of ideas and things to try is open to debate.

I for one appreciate elements of risk in an adventure, but for the reasons already stated and several other corollaries most horror movies hold very little appeal. While I don't require unalloyed happy endings, I do tend to appreciate happy endings or at least the CHANCE of a happy ending and a DAMN GOOD REASON I (as viewer) didn't get one. I like the fact that the happy ending is far from a given in horror but by the same token I still viscerally WANT one, which is of course one of the main sources of my disappointment with the genre.

Horror is the genre with the largest swing of reviews.

My wife and daughter have been watching different horror/scary movie lately and have found that out. Movies that had great reviews for being scary just plain sucked. We watched [REC] the other night and my wife walked off because she hated it that much. This movie had great reviews.

We watched 1408 when it came out and spent more time laughing. Cusack was a horrible choice. We couldn't take him serious at all.

Originally Posted by ninja|oaklandr

Horror is the genre with the largest swing of reviews.
We watched 1408 when it came out and spent more time laughing. Cusack was a horrible choice. We couldn't take him serious at all.

I dunno, he's done more than a few small budget horror type flicks and I tend to think he does well in the roles. You are absolutely right though in the review swing. Professional reviews of horror movies seem to be particularly suspect.

My three favorite horror movies are When a Stranger Calls, Disturbia, and the new Fright Night

I like the three of these the most because they actually end well unlike every other horror movie out there, and have a good story that isn't just about boobs and gore (hint hint: All of the new Jason, Halloween and all of those retarded movies). Plus, all three are very unpredictable, and that is what I want in a horror movie. Most horror movies are very predictable now-a-days.
Of course I do love some other horror movies, but those are just my top three. Horror is a genre that is supposed to be SCARY. Gore helps with getting you scared, but when they go way too far with it, it is just gross (like all of the Saw movies). Then they go and throw boobs in there every 10 seconds...that is what pisses me off. I swear like 99.9% of people who like to watch all of the new Jason's and Michael Myers movies are just horny teenagers.
I just wish that all horror films were actually scary, if you want boobs, gore, and cheesiness, then they should make a new genre called "Fake Horror"

There are only two horror movies that are worth a shit (IMO). Jaws and the The Exorcist. Only two movies that ever scared me.
I was pretty sure we had Great Whites up here in the Mississippi for a couple of Summers after Jaws came out.

I've seen Disturbia and that was a good flick, though LeBeouf's character was a bit of a punk... okay a complete punk... will have to check out "When a Stranger Calls." I looked at the trailer and it seems interesting... "Fright Night" strikes me more as action adventure but also looks like it'd be worth seeing. I like a main character that doesn't spend the whole movie pissing his pants.

I think one of the things that makes horror at all worthwhile is that no other genre is quite as good at building decent suspense. We'll see how these do.

Originally Posted by Cebelius

I've seen Disturbia and that was a good flick, though LeBeouf's character was a bit of a punk... okay a complete punk... will have to check out "When a Stranger Calls." I looked at the trailer and it seems interesting... "Fright Night" strikes me more as action adventure but also looks like it'd be worth seeing. I like a main character that doesn't spend the whole movie pissing his pants.

I think one of the things that makes horror at all worthwhile is that no other genre is quite as good at building decent suspense. We'll see how these do.

Yeah, hope you like them!
Don't forget it is the 2006 version of When a Stranger Calls. Haha. There is like a 1975 one and it suuuuucks!