Thread: Great BF2 Guide

Today while perusing the internet, I came across the most detailed and helpful BF2 guide I have ever seen!

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/guid...attlefield.php

I will definitely be employing all of these strategies immediately!

And it still holds true to this day on most servers.

This is hilarious.

Many squad leaders will often request large amounts of snipers to join their team since the core of any useful squad is a sniper ready and willing to sit in one single location for 30 minutes, shooting at tanks and calling for supplies while refusing to move for any reason short of an air strike directly on their head. Never underestimate the monumental contributions a sniper can lend to any squad that really likes crouching in one location for days and missing virtually everything they aim for.

After all, transport helicopters weren't created to actually transport anything. They were originally designed as very large and inefficient paperweights.

Piloting helicopters and jets are one of those things that are best learned during online games with other players. Don't worry if you've never flown one before, and you lost your BF2 instruction manual, and you have no computer monitor, and instead of hands you have bulbous, sweaty claws that flail out uncontrollably at random objects surrounding you. Just hop on in and hope for the best! If you're really unsure how to fly, like you experience extreme difficulty when attempting to determine which direction is "up" and which direction is "the bathroom," request other teammates to hop in and fly with you. They'll offer tomes of useful advice and will gladly take over the controls after you've flown so badly that you've somehow ended up in a completely different game altogether.

LOL! my favorite:

If You See Somebody Repairing a Vehicle, Feel Free to Take It! - They're simply preparing it for you, like a Christmas present! All your teammates want to be sure you drive only the finest and most physically acceptable vehicles. If you really want to show your gratitude, use the vehicle to run them over and then spam the "sorry" message approximately 400 times in the hope they won't punish you for a team kill. Then drive the vehicle straight into a large body of water or off a cliff while honking the horn like a retarded burn victim. Of course the chances of somebody on a public server not punishing you for a team kill are like one hundred billion infinity to -10, so remember to get really angry at them and inform them they're "s**c n****r w*p c***k f*gs" when the inevitable occurs. This helpfully lets them know they are s**c n****r w*p c***k f*gs.

and you cant forget this jewel

Don't worry about your microphone being too close to your mouth; people love distortion. That's why heavy metal is so popular.

Edited for prohibited language in original

I agree with about 95% of that guide.

Don't rez me in the heat of battle!! Especially if I'm in your squad. I'll impolitely ask you not to do it again.

agreed

Revive Fallen Teammates In the Middle of Firefights! - Medics are equipped with the awesome power of revival, resuscitating teammates from the dead. As many BF2 games have proven, the primary cause of death is by being killed, so hang out in an area where a bunch of people are being shot by opposing troops. Then, while gunfire constantly erupts around you from the surrounding enemy team, sweep in like an angel of mercy and revive as many comrades as possible! It doesn't matter if there's absolutely no chance of anybody escaping the firefight alive once you awaken them to the land of the living, the whole goal is to simply revive them! After that, they're on their own; it's not like it's your job to keep them from dying! If you're feeling particularly generous, maybe you can scatter some medikits all over the ground so when they instantly die, their corpses can kind of pose with them and it will look cute.

Wait we aren't supposed to do that?

cause I do that pretty much every time I get in the game... xD ahahahaha

I think my favorite is the one where it describes the guy in a stationary vehicle, manning the gun. I do that all the time, and I usually rack up a lot of kills doing that. Then some dude comes along, starts driving, and ends up either leaving me in the middle of no where or in front of a tank :5

Funny stuff

Originally Posted by MuadDib

Revive Fallen Teammates In the Middle of Firefights! - Medics are equipped with the awesome power of revival, resuscitating teammates from the dead. As many BF2 games have proven, the primary cause of death is by being killed, so hang out in an area where a bunch of people are being shot by opposing troops. Then, while gunfire constantly erupts around you from the surrounding enemy team, sweep in like an angel of mercy and revive as many comrades as possible! It doesn't matter if there's absolutely no chance of anybody escaping the firefight alive once you awaken them to the land of the living, the whole goal is to simply revive them! After that, they're on their own; it's not like it's your job to keep them from dying! If you're feeling particularly generous, maybe you can scatter some medikits all over the ground so when they instantly die, their corpses can kind of pose with them and it will look cute.

Wait we aren't supposed to do that?

cause I do that pretty much every time I get in the game... xD ahahahaha

I think my favorite is the one where it describes the guy in a stationary vehicle, manning the gun. I do that all the time, and I usually rack up a lot of kills doing that. Then some dude comes along, starts driving, and ends up either leaving me in the middle of no where or in front of a tank :5

Funny stuff

Yea, I admit that I am guilty of reviving people before dealing with a threat, but in my defense, its usually when they are protected by some sort of cover, so they generally survive the ordeal.

Overzealous Medics think you're somehow awesome by reviving random people all over the place, but there are times when I'd much rather respawn than get continuously revived in the middle of a fight only to die again seconds later because of the idiot teammate getting stoned off of the revive points.

Originally Posted by WaterDumple

Overzealous Medics think you're somehow awesome by reviving random people all over the place, but there are times when I'd much rather respawn than get continuously revived in the middle of a fight only to die again seconds later because of the idiot teammate getting stoned off of the revive points.

Yes, but there have been times where my squad has gotten into a firefight, and had it not been for my 'overzealous' revives, we would have lost the fight and the control point as well. :P

I see no problem with reviving someone in a firefight if there is a significant chance that your revive will help your squad win the fight, and not just earn you free points. Like if they are protected by a waist-high wall or something similar, so they cannot be killed immediately upon "re-entry."