Hate It: Strike Suit Zero

First impressions are everything, so they say. Hell, that's the basis for this series. Strike Suit Zero personified is the guy you meet at a group function and have to ask his name several times. He's timid. Soft-spoken. Safe. He moonlights as an insurance risk assessor. I love a good space shooter. I hate Strike Suit Zero.

The game is billed well. The trailer is exciting and the description was written by an evil marketing genius. Space Combat Reborn. Fuck yeah!

Our story begins with an unnecessarily long animated intro with a voiceover narrative. I zoned out during this part and wondered why overdone intros are obligatory. I don't need the entire story frontloaded. Let's keep it simple and if you want to develop the story, then how about you actually develop the story? Let's start small, with just the basics. Throw in a tidbit here and there. Build on the setting and characters. Just past the halfway mark we are going to have a climax in the story. Now let's resolve this shit. Stories are formulaic for a reason. Stick with it.

After a while I noticed I was now actually in the game. I am in a sweet looking spaceship and what looks like Earth looms in the distance. Hell yeah! I am going to start flying and go kick some space ass.

Except not. Instead I am told that as a new recruit I have some training to complete. Go to a waypoint. Okay, easy peasy. Use your thrusters. Right, got it. Travel to a salvage area and blast some wreckage. Cool, I know how to fight. Now on to kicking some space ass!

Or not.

Back to the station. Over there is the Freighter Whogivesafuck. You'll escort her on her mission of I don’t have a clue because I zoned out. I already feel like I have played this mission a dozen times, and I have. The freighter goes through a jump gate and as I follow I see that they are under attack and it’s my job to swat the flies attacking her. Who could have seen this crazy twist coming? Yawn. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. Donated it to Goodwill last year.

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s important to make games accessible. Space sims tend to have a steep learning curve and it’s common to have a tutorial mission to get acclimated with the controls and environment. That’s great. What’s not great is being unoriginal and using the same old tried and true but tired introduction. The sterile environment didn’t help things. Combat was okay, but nothing I haven’t seen a hundred times. I stopped playing at this point because I hated it.