Thread: Asian parents help...

Racism logic:

White parents don't want their daughter marrying black man = Terrible nazi fascist assholes who need to be shot.

Asian parents don't want their daughter marrying white man = Good ol' fashioned "traditional" parenting style, just try to get on their good side.


Anyone else bothered by this?

I do believe it is very racist and fascist. Yes she has a chance to marry a nice man. One who has career goals, plans, drive, ambition, kindness, sympathy, empathy, etc. etc. etc. etc.

I am a damn good catch and everyone of my closest friends, classmates, and teachers all say so. Her closest friends met me and all of them loved me. We had fun, laughed, conversed, and the opinion was the same from all of them.

I am going to try my best to be the sweet, charming man she met. There is a SLIGHT urge to wait until they judge me and ask Why they feel so superior to me? I could throw the my family has been on this nation for a very.. very.. very long time. We have a lot of Indian (feather not dot) in our bloodlines. There is some Dutch, Russian (the part in Asia), and Italian in our bloodlines as well. Seems like a majority of my ancestry comes from a form of Asian descent. I may not have a "chinese" appearance, but who cares? I see just as many people down in the dumps in their country as there are over here. How many people live in poverty over there ? I mean do they REALLY want to cast stones?

Maybe I should just nod and smile a lot. Can't be pissed at me if I don't say anything haha.

Originally Posted by deathgodusmc

What do you mean you cant figure out why they are disappointed? Have you looked in the mirror?

Hahahaha man thats messed up.


When I started dating my sons mother who is white, my parents were a little disappointed at first. We're Mexican and it's not that my patents are racist or anything, their just very traditional and didn't think she would adapt to our families values and beliefs, mostly they didn't think she would be a good wife because she didn't know how to cook or clean very well.

She tried really hard to fit in with my family, even went to church with me every sunday even though she didn't speak spanish and overtime everyone became very accepting and got along with her very well. She even learned how to cook, till this day best damn chicken alfredo and sammiches I ever had.

Anyways overtime she became apart of the family, we were together for nearly 6 years before we split up but a lot of my aunts still talk to her on a regular basis.

My advice to you would be to show them they you really want to be with their daughter by embracing their culture, as someone suggested try to learn the language and be respectful/open to their traditions/values. Still it will probably take sometime before they are 100% accepting of you.

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Originally Posted by thr3kvya

Maybe I should just nod and smile a lot. Can't be pissed at me if I don't say anything haha.

There you go, and try not to argue.

Honestly though, they have not met you yet, and it's common for them to prefer all the better and same race. Culture shock was a big thing for me when I first moved out here. They might just like you once they meet you. I think you are worrying too much and that might give you or them a wrong impression of each other. Just be a nice guy like you say you are and you will be fine.

Sorry to hear this Thr3ky. but hahahaha!

Originally Posted by thr3kvya

We have a lot of Indian (feather not dot) in our bloodlines.

HAhahahahahahahahahahaaha I'm Indian too (dot not feather) and that, sir, made me crack up.


Anyway, my parents (mostly my mom, dad's actually kind of open about it) are kind of the same way as your girlfriends parents, they want me to marry a nice Indian girl and have a shit ton of kids. Problem is, I have this thing for White and Asian girls, I'm just not attracted to Indians. I usually give any girls I bring home a crash course in my language, simple stuff like hello, goodbye, how are you, etc. and let them know what topics to avoid and other little things that I know my parents look for, and it's worked out well so far.

Originally Posted by Thorsen

Racism logic:

White parents don't want their daughter marrying black man = Terrible nazi fascist assholes who need to be shot.

Asian parents don't want their daughter marrying white man = Good ol' fashioned "traditional" parenting style, just try to get on their good side.


Anyone else bothered by this?

It's a cultural baggage thing. Someone from a traditional culture, (e.g. Middle East, India, Asia) is somewhat expected to have their cultural baggage of racism not being frowned upon, or even actively encouraged. Whereas when you say "white parents" one would assume that they've had a generation or three to assimilate into the Western culture group where racism is indeed highly frowned upon and based upon the premise that people are equal.

Doesn't excuse it any, but makes it understandable. Go back a hundred years and you get immigrant groups like the Irish and Italians as having distinct cultural identities and discouraging intermarriage with outsiders. Some cultural groups that are generally seen as 'white' still get some leeway in that area of "hey make nice" instead of "nazifascistassholes!" e.g. traditional Jewish sects, or Roma, or highly orthodox Greeks.

I dated a girl whose Asian parents did not like my whiteness. I am not sure that you will ever be able to get them to like you (but if you find out what the trick is let me know). My advice is to make an honest effort (which it sounds like you are doing) and then be content that you are being the bigger man. Racism (or classism, if they don't like the fact that you are a nurse vs. an MD) sucks but the important part is that their daughter loves you. Staying true to yourself and shrugging it off while keeping the friendly hand outstretched to them will earn you all kinds of brownie points. Some girls really dig it when their parents think you're bad news, too... which is way better than having the parents like you, haha.