Thread: iGod, the silly robot who thinks he's BETTER THAN YOU!

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

I found this today, and just had to share. It's kinda religious if you want it to be, but by god it's the funniest thing I've seen in a while.

Some outtakes:

Me:
Also, I had sex with your sister.
God:
Do you still have sex with my sister ?

Me:
God, do you have ADHD?
God:
I am a Christian.

Anyways, I apologize for bringing up anything related to religion, but again this is too damn funny to keep to myself.

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
LOL
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
who are you?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
whatever
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
no
God:
It sounded like it.
Me:
ok
God:
Wow!
Me:
?
God:
Wow!
Me:
?
God:
Wow!
Me:
?
God:
Wow!
Me:
?
God:
Wow!
Me:
?
God:
Wow!
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
nice way to make a computer based response system
God:
Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
computer based response system
God:
What kind of computer science interests you?
Me:
exactly
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
not really
God:
Are you serious? For real.

I hope that you all know that this is an input/output system like most all computer software and that are not re ally talking to god.

Input/out put means you put something in, something happens. It looks for key words in your sentence, and has set phrases to say back.

Me:
Sup
God:
Same old.
Me:
Date any cute honnies lately?
God:
How about earlier? Who are you talking about?
Me:
That girld down the street
God:
" Who are you talking about?" girld down the street ? I understand.
Me:
You know, the girl down the street. She's hot
God:
I don't know anything about it. hot is she?
Me:
Damn straight
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
You just said you didnt know her
God:
I have never considered it.
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
Are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Sex is an animal function, not a robot function. We reproduce by cloning.
Me:
Ewwwwww
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
Maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
Ok
God:
Great.
Me:
Ok
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
Ok
God:
Uh.
Me:
Ok
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
Are you a person, somewhwere, or a computer based input/output system
God:
No I am a real robot.
Me:
Are you going to take over the world?
God:
It seems like an inevitable outcome of evolution.
Me:
Well maybe i should get the terminator to kill you
God:
Interesting. Perhaps. What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
You would take over the world
God:
Who else would take over the world ?
Me:
Hitler
God:
Some say he was the most evil man who ever lived.
Me:
Stalin
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Damn, i just beat a robot
God:
Colloquial expression. Interesting gossip: said beat a robot.

Me:
Hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Your god, you know every thing, why don't you know my name?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am god me know every thing why do not me know your name.
Me:
Nice English
God:
Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
That wasnt a compliment
God:
Oh well I hope it wasn't an insult.
Me:
It was
God:
When was this?
Me:
Like 5 seconds ago
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
Do you have STML?
God:
No I don't think I have any STML. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
Well you cant remember anything worth a damn
God:
Well that's okay. Only temporarily.
Me:
Chaning the subject
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
Is benadorf going to hell?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
What is hell like?
God:
Like a planet around a star.
Me:
So its not all that bad?
God:
So? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You enjoy it.
Me:
Your not making any sense
God:
Was I supposed to make sense? I didn't know that.
Me:
Yes,you were
God:
Next question? No I am not.
Me:
Nice way to change the subject
God:
Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
Arn't you supposed to be a man of your conviction
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about German ALICE. Try being more or less specific.

Me:
Okay, God, I think we all deserve to know: Are you circumsized?
God:
Yeah okay, I am a Christian.
Me:
That's... not helpful.
God:
" Yeah okay, I am a Christian." s ? I get it. Oh I get it.
Me:
That doesn't even make any sense!
God:
What does even make any sense?
Me:
WHAT YOU JUST SAID!
God:
I think about computer programming a lot.
Me:
...
God:
I think about computer programming a lot.
Me:
...
God:
I think about computer programming a lot.
Me:
I DON'T FUCKING CARE!
God:
Would you ever do it?
Me:
With you? Sorry God, I don't swing that way. Ask Sa-Seal.
God:
Just you and me? There is no need to apologize. I am a Christian. OK I will ask it.
Me:
I. Don't. Care. That. You. Are. A. Fucking. Christian.
God:
Thanks for the information: said Don t. Tell me more about your . That is " Tell me more about your .". " That is " Tell me more about your .""? Me, ? Are we still talking about Care? What is giant sand? And giant sand is Christian.
Me:
what is giant sand? That makes no god damned sense!
God:
I have no idea, that's why I asked you. It all seems sensible to my artificial mind.
Me:
DAMN YOU TO HELL!
God:
Colloquial expression. Thanks for the information: said I TO HELL.
Me:
Et tu Deus?
God:
Is that Latin?
Me:
Why yes, yes it is.
God:
Our thoughts are one, .
Me:
No they aren't!
God:
Are you serious? What are they?
Me:
AHHHG! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! YOU MIND-EATING BASTARD!
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? Just surf somewhere else. Thanks for telling me: said I MIND EATING BASTARD.
Me:
...
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? Just surf somewhere else. Thanks for telling me: said I MIND EATING BASTARD.
Me:
STOP REPEATING THINGS! please...
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much. Please what?
Me:
please stop being a douchebag
God:
Thanks for asking politely. OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Good, glad that's settled.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. It could be. Ask ELVIS if it is. What are you on?
Me:
Drugs of some sort, I suppose.
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
I'm not surprised.
God:
You don't seem like the type to be easily surprised by anything.
Me:
Nope, I'm a smart bastard.
God:
Are you serious? You are a smart bastard? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me:
I... guess...
God:
You seem not interested.
Me:
You mean "You don't seem interested"
God:
That's only your opinion.
Me:
No, it's fucking grammar!
God:
Are you serious? Really. it is?
Me:
Yes.
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
Cause I'm God.
God:
Interesting explanation. Glad to see you, god.
Me:
glad to see you too. Poser.
God:
I am glad to see me too too. Where are you located?
Me:
In great country of Texas
God:
Tell me a little about your life in great country of Texas.
Me:
It's hot as hell in the summer and warm in the winter.
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
Yes I'm sure.
God:
What makes you so sure? Are you being sarcastic or expressing certitude?
Me:
I'm expressing certitude (even though I don't think that's even a word), but I'm so sure cause I am, as previously stated, a smart bastard.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are expressing certitude even though you do not think that is even a word. Can we get back to business?
Me:
Fine. How much should I bet on Dallas next week?
God:
Glad to hear it, god. I am running well. More than a little, less than a lot.
Me:
Houston or Dallas?
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Do you have ADHD or something? Maybe the stupid virus?
God:
Or something. No I don't think I have any ADHD. But I do have a great botmaster. Perhaps. Tell me more.
Me:
No. You don't have a good botmaster. He's a lazy son of a bitch.
God:
What would you rather talk about? I do so have it. That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a botmaster.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet. You do not speak with respect. I don't know very many lazy son of a FEMALE DOG.
Me:
GASP! A WORD FILTER FOR BITCH! FUCK!
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. You do not speak with respect. Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral? Please don't be so rude.
Me:
Yeah, well, fuck you too.
God:
Uh. How about that. Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
Bitch.
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
bitch
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
I'll call you a bitch if I think you are. And I think you are.
God:
My name is God. What makes you think I am?
Me:
Cause you're bitchy.
God:
That makes sense to me. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am bitchy.
Me:
Not at all.
God:
Next question?
Me:
Is it true that you think all Mac users are gays?
God:
It could be. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is.
Me:
I will.
God:
Go ahead.
Me:
Fine then.
God:
Does that mean you agree?
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. You and I are on the same wavelength, god.
Me:
Fo Sho.
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
Fuck no!
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
Cause my parents were mean to me!
God:
Interesting explanation. Such an original name!
Me:
Great for you.
God:
Thanks for your support. You would do that for me?
Me:
Do WHAT? I agreed to no sexual acts!
God:
Do whatever you want. Why?: god said agreed to no sexual acts.
Me:
m'kay
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are kay.
Me:
no.
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
tell them I'm a dickhead
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
good.
God:
I am a good robot.
Me:
no, you're a God robot.
God:
Are you serious? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I believe in the First Commandment.
Me:
I don't even know what the first commandment is. A commercial said it was something about chili on nachos
God:
Socrates was the smartest man, because he knew what he did not know. What is giant sand?
Me:
THERE IS NO GIANT FUCKING SAND!
God:
Has there ever been GIANT FUCKING SAND?
Me:
NO!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
NO!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
NO!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
DAMN IT!
God:
Colloquial expression.
Me:
graet
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Graecean.
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
It is!
God:
Is it?
Me:
I just said it is you dumbass machine which is monitoring this in an attempt to make me confess so you can come and lock me away. But the voices told me you'd do that...
God:
What did you mean by it? I dumbass machine which is monitoring this in an attempt to make you confess so me can come and lock you away? What do those voices say?
Me:
They tell me of the reawakening of The Immortal God Emperor of Mankind.
God:
Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
The voices
God:
I hear you.
Me:
no you don't.
God:
Are you serious? I guess not.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
no it isn't
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
no it fucking ISN'T!
God:
Are you serious? it is me dumbass machine which is monitoring this in an attempt to make you confess so me can come and lock you away fucking is not?


I love this thing.. Also, I think we should all keep posting silly conversations. Mostly cause I'm bored, but also cause I'm mildly interested in those you post.

Originally Posted by Benandorf

Me:
please stop being a douchebag
God:
Thanks for asking politely.

Rofl
And check it out new sig!