Thread: Some funny jokes (WARNING MAY CONTAIN EXPLICT CONTENT!!)

Heres some jokes i pulled off of comedycentral.com

Bozo's Big Beautiful Ass

There was an old man named Bozo, and all he had was a female donkey. One day he wins the lottery and gets $50,000. He doesn't know what to do with his money, so he decides to spend a night in a five star hotel. He asks for the finest room and starts going up the stairs with his female donkey. The manager sees him and asks where he's going with his donkey.
"Anywhere I go, she goes."
"I'm sorry, sir," said the manager, "but you can't take the donkey upstairs. Leave it down here with us and we'll take good care of her." So Bozo goes up to his room and opens the door. Everything is made of gold, there is a table full of food, and a huge television. He doesn't want to ruin anything so he takes his raggedy coat off and sleeps on the floor. The next morning the manager comes up to the room and asks how his night was.
''Great!'' replied Bozo. ''How much do I have to pay?'' he asks.
''One thousand dollars for the food.''
''But I haven't touched the food."
''It was right there, so you should have. Two thousand dollars for the TV."
''But I didn't even know how to turn the damn thing on!''
''It was there, so you should have. Five thousand for sleeping on the bed."
''But I slept on the floor!''
''It was there. Your total is eight thousand dollars."
''You owe me ten thousand dollars for screwing my donkey.''
''But sir, I didn't screw your donkey.''
''It was there. You should have!''
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Rubbing Her The Right Way

A few months after his parents were divorced, Little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"
Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.

One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.

Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"

***section removed for promoting vandalism (ebaconjr)***

lol hope you guys like them

lol man

LIONSGATE Investors - Investor Relations - Press Releases

Lets just hope the 'cutscenes' in this movie will be better than the videogame adaption!

LIONSGATE® (NYSE: LGF), a leading global entertainment company, today announced that it has optioned film rights from Deep Silver to develop a feature inspired by Dead Island, which became a viral media sensation when its haunting, artful trailer launched in February 2011. The announcement was made by Lionsgate's co-COO and Motion Picture Group President Joe Drake.

Like the trailer that will serve as its primary creative inspiration, the film DEAD ISLAND will be an innovation of the zombie genre because of its focus on human emotion, family ties and non-linear storytelling. Said Drake of the property's acquisition, "Like the hundreds of journalists and millions of fans who were so passionate and vocal about the Dead Island trailer, we too were awestruck." He continued, "This is exactly the type of property we're looking to adapt at Lionsgate - it's sophisticated, edgy, and a true elevation of a genre that we know and love. It also has built in brand recognition around the world, and franchise potential."

The film DEAD ISLAND is currently in the early development stage with producers attached. Sean Daniel (THE MUMMY, TOMBSTONE, DAZED AND CONFUSED) will spearhead production through his Sean Daniel Company. A veteran producer with global franchises under his belt, Daniel is to be joined in producing by Stefan Sonnenfeld, who has been a pioneer in the post production field, using the process as a platform to create a unique visual brand with directors including J.J. Abrams, Michael Bay and Gore Verbinski. Jason Brown of The Sean Daniel Company and Missy Papageorge for Sonnenfeld's Sunny Field Productions are executive producing, with Sarah Perlman of Sunny Field Productions serving as co-producer.

Ten bucks says it goes straight to DVD. That's how Lionsgate rolls.

Really? I do not why that trailer was so impressive.

It's just normal zombie stuff, but somehow played backwards with some sad piano music it's an arty farty magic trailer? Nah. Good trailer but it's not the great thing it's made out to be.

Also, it might not come out. There was supposed to be a film of the first game of my favourite series, Fatal Frame, but nothing ever became of it.

Emotional aspect of zombies isn't original, at least in films and to an extent in games. There's examples of families and multiple children coping with a zombie apocalypse (Well, almost. It's secluded to a village but I'd still class it as a zombie game). And it doesn't even happen in a trailer, it happens in cutscenes and through gameplay.

Was the game itself much like the trailer?

Maybe it's because it's a bigger budget, less niche game, but it's not some kind of revelatin to have emotion in a zombie game.

Originally Posted by Crazy Neck

Emotional aspect of zombies isn't original, at least in films and to an extent in games. There's examples of families and multiple children coping with a zombie apocalypse (Well, almost. It's secluded to a village but I'd still class it as a zombie game). And it doesn't even happen in a trailer, it happens in cutscenes and through gameplay.

Was the game itself much like the trailer?

Maybe it's because it's a bigger budget, less niche game, but it's not some kind of revelatin to have emotion in a zombie game.

What game/film has this level of emotion? I just finished the game and the finale just made me want to cry.

Oh and about Fatal Frame, I heard that when they were making it, Shutter came out and they scrapped the film because they felt it was way too similar. So they opted Clock Tower instead. Clock Tower is slated for a 2012 release.

Forbidden siren, or the remake, Siren Blood Curse? There's various children in those games, and there are family dynamics on display and such. The sequel to the original, Forbidden Siren 2 had it as well. There's all kinds of films with emotion and zombies, 28 days/weeks later, REC, or a TV series, the Walking Dead I found really sad in parts.

I could go through all the events in it if you want, but it would spoil the game, if you ever were to play it.