Thread: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

Well Syrr, I guess you better not come to me for advice because I learned today that I suck as a dad. I have three kids, 10, 7, and 5. My wife had all three naturally, the last at our home. All three slept in our bed for some time, but now are quite independent, and have been for years. All three nursed, and are quite healthy. We also home school all three, and yet they have no social issues to speak of. They have friends through other activities such as our church, home school group activities, sports, art, etc.

I guess it comes back to the kid and the parents. If you have involved parents that try to do their best the kids will hopefully turn out ok. If not, then who knows.

Parents do their best with the tools they have and generally the trusted opinions of close friends (not that the people here can’t be trusted). Co-sleeping doesn’t always mean being in the same bed. We had our daughter in a bassinette at the side of our bed for the first couple months to make the late night feedings easier…less stumbling thru the hallway and more relaxing.

Also, when she woke up when not hungry, we were able to chill her out quicker being that she was closer.

We never did the same-bed thing intentionally…there have been nights in the last couple years when she’s woken up in the middle of the night with various problems and we resolved it by letting her sleep with us…heck, when we got her her big-girl bed, I slept in there with her a couple nights to show her it was cool…she’s very independent.

Like I said, do your best with the information you have (which is limitless on the internet) and the trusted opinions of family and friends.

Here’s something that should be obvious by now though – for every expert you find that says “Always, always, always do XYZ” you will find at least one equally qualified expert that says “Never, ever, ever do XYZ” – this is a fact of the internet.

Here’s some basic rules.

No beer for the baby –

Read the label of the medicine closely and call your doctor for help with dosage if you have a question –

No steak for infants –

Don’t shake the baby –

Don’t drop the baby –

Hug the baby –

Change your life for the baby –

Do better for your baby than your parents did for you, even if you had it great, your mission is to improve your next generation. Even if you don’t feel it now, when that kid gets here – you won’t be able to control it. The desire to see your baby have it better than you had it takes over.

Good luck, and God bless.

Originally Posted by RottnJP

Wow. What's your malfunction, dude? You hear an opinion different from your own, and your best response is to become abusive and denigrate my opinion? And calling a women's support group a "cult?"

Oh, but you must be right, because *wikipedia* says so? What a joke you are. How about you come back to me when you have done real research of what is in peer reviewed journals, you sanctimonious rectum. And a quote from AAP, whose statement in regard to co-sleeping was not based on any study, but happened to be someone's opinion? (AAP being the standard-bearer of conventional American medical pediatrics.)

Oh, but the American conventional wisdom must be right, since we are the best country in the free world? The problem is, if you have been raised in the U.S., what is "natural" to you is probably not the best thing for Mom or baby. That's why making an effort to *learn* has value relative to just muddling through on hunches and mis-information.

Ohh- Bold statement? Hmmm, let's look up the statistics for infant mortality in the U.S. (I'll save you the trouble- We're at the *bottom* of the industrialized world for infant outcomes even though we are at the top of the heap for dollars spent on health care per capita.) When you include the unindustrialized western world, we leap to second from the bottom, surpassing Latvia- Dare to dream, my friends.

And your "toss the kid in a crib and let them cry it out" philosophy? By your own admission it is not for the good of baby you do that, but because you don't want to be bothered. So, your basic parenting philosophy is rooted in laziness and selfishness, but somehow *I* am the one dishing out bad advice because I don't agree with you?

CIO - Australian Association of Infant Mental Health: "Controlled crying is not consistent with what infants need for their optimal emotional and psychological health, and may have unintended negative consequences" Controlled Crying, AAIMHI Position Paper November 2002.

"...Deleterious to the infant, with increased physiological effort, increased heart and lung activity, and increased energy loss."

You have obviously already made up your tiny little mind, but you did ask for some peer reviewed data on co-sleeping, so:

"Co-sleeping: Infants sleeping alone in a room by themselves are at least twice as likely to die from SIDS than are infants sleeping in the company (same room) as a committed adult caregiver" - Lancet, 2008

"Co-sleepers (children) were most independent with peers and in self care skills" - Infant and Child Development 2007

Oh, and on cereal at a month? Even your own AAP now advises 6 months of exclusive breastfeeding followed by slow introduction of solids. And yes, increased incidence of obesity and type 2 diabetes were cited in their own research. Of course the WHO puts it at a year, but why quibble.

Meh. I've spent enough time on this already. The facts are out there, do with it what you will. Will the conventional approach kill your kid? Of course not. (Well, not unless your kid is one of the unlucky ones.) Lots of kids grow up fine with all kinds of worse issues growing up than whether they were held, nursed, and so forth. But look at how many people have crappy relationships with their kids, and the broad sweep of societal deterioration and anti-social behaviors. Is there a relationship between that deterioration in inter-societal bonds and the deterioration in familial bonds? Maybe its coincidental. Maybe it isn't. Either way, I'm loving raising my boys, and I recommend the choices that we've made to anyone who is willing to put the effort into doing the research, and is strong enough to think for themselves.

Wow, you have some problems. I think it was you who came in flaming me - saying "holy crap ignore this advice!" And making a ridiculous statement saying a kid is going to be obese b/c he eats childrens rice cereal. That's laughable buddy.

And then you go on to say that the "best" way to feed your kid is to breast feed. Well why don't you let his wife decide what she wants to do, some women do not like that. I'm sure you'll throw out some facts on how it is the safest way with the most nutrients yada yada.

And since when did I say I leave my baby in the corning crying? Wow, you're really reaching here huh. Having your kid sleep in their crib and getting used to it, there is nothing wrong with that. That is what a wireless baby cam is for, so you can see/hear if your baby is crying, then you can go tend to them. It's pretty simple actually.

The whole point of this thread was to give nice positive advice I'm sure. Not try to come in, flame some else advice and be an all around know-it-all. But nice job, you've accomplished that.

Out-

How old are you?

im not a dad but i got 4 little neices and nef's and let me tell you, YOU WILL WANT TO DIE after a while and your kids bed room will have to be sound proof. Anyways Congrats and Good luck mate.