Thread: POTENTIAL Dangers of Internet Porn

also - if a sexually inexperienced 18 yr old watches a pile of porn before entering the real world - are you denying it can screw with his perception of actual intimacy? Do you think his view of women and sex in general might be a little twisted depending on the kind of porn he watched?

We're very impressionable beings - things imprint on our minds and never go away...in that respect, I believe porn can cause serious harm.

Originally Posted by SlytherN

I would like to know if this is how the story goes. Your friend gets busted cheating. He confesses but says his addiction to porn is what prompted him to conduct such an evil act..

If my assessment is true here then it wasn't porn that cause this problem. THe relationship was at risk already. If I am truly in love and care deeply about my wife there would be no chance of my straying. Porn or no porn. Its possible because of his discontent he looked elsewhere. In this case porn then a mistress. Lets pretend there was no porn do you really think the outcome would be different. I don't think you are being honest with yourself. The relationship led to cheating not porn.

I've read the first and last page of this and I will only state my view on addictions...

You control what you do and don't do. Period. If you let something control you, then that's a problem that requires attention. But frankly, I don't understand those without enough willpower to control their own lives. I don't gamble because I don't want to throw money away... But I sure do like it. I just simply told myself that the boat (casino) is off limits. And I've never been there. And I'll never go there in the future. I drink very rarely and when I do it's one or two drinks and that's it. I decided long ago that I'm stupid enough as it is and I'm not going to get drunk and reveal any more stupidity than I have to to the rest of the world. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs of any sort and even limit prescription medication to those times when I most assuredly HAVE to have something (I didn't even take painkillers when I broke my leg last october other than some tylenol a few times... even after surgery...) I *do* have a nice stash of porn. And you know what? I'm just as normal as the next guy that doesn't have a porn stash.

I know people that have thrown away their lives on drugs or gambling. And I've even known a guy or two that has thrown away their lives on EVERQUEST and WORLD OF WARCRAFT. It simply amazes me to no end.

If you let external stimuli control your life, that's your own fault and I'm sorry to say it, but you deserve what you get.

Moderation... in all things. Suppose I had sex with my wife 8-10 times a day everyday. I spent 15 minutes of fore play 15 minutes of sex 30 minutes of recvery time each time 8-10 hours a day. Now I have just consumed half of the waking time of my day with sex. Throw in eating (gotta carbo-load for that workout) and now you have consumed most of your waking day. Now this is all you do with your life... in theory you are doing everything "right." The problem is that sex has still consumed your life, yes it is with your wife but you have replaced everything else with sex. So now something that seems like a normal, right thing to do has become bad. This is a very drastic example but in comparison anything you allow to consume your life is wrong.

Myself I watch porn, not often but I watch it. I smoke hookah, cigars and cigarettes, not often but I still do it. I drink a couple nights a week, normally I dont get drunk but sometimes I do. I have put twenty into a slot machine a couple of times. I could very easily fall prey to any of these things, I have the will power to do these things in balance.

What I think the whole point Consultant is trying to make is... When you realize that something, porn in this instance, is begining to take hold of your life you need to stop right away. There is normally a brief moment when you realize that what you are doing is wrong and damaging to your life. Some people do not realize it and fall victim. Some become addicted to their job, equally damaging to your family. Social clubs, sports, shopping, the internet, video games, eating, and many more things, all of which millions of americans are addicted to. If you dont have a problem with porn, maybe it's something else. Take a self check and evaluate yourself.

Porn is very easy to become addicted to. Porn, if you believe it to be wrong or not, can lead to other things that are wrong. Its not so much that it hurts the woman to know you looked at porn, but the fact that you lied about it, spent time away because of it, and became detatched. Normally it's not the vice itself that is "bad" but the problems afterwards.

porn can be worse than drugs and booze though - because you can sober up and the bad junk is out of your system. Images last a lifetime though.

Originally Posted by Consultant

porn can be worse than drugs and booze though - because you can sober up and the bad junk is out of your system. Images last a lifetime though.

People do some really bad things under the influence; those images and experiences last a lifetime.

Originally Posted by Consultant

I should have named the thread POTENTIAL Dangers of Internet Porn.

In fact....

And that's all I was really after

EDIT:

Answering these posts as I come to them rather than clicking reply and filling the next two pages with replies to each post separately:

Originally Posted by triggerhappy2005

Viewing porn doesn't make you less of a man. Being a bad parent does. Abusing your wife does. Cheating at video games does. Letting the church tell you what to do does.

This.

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Originally Posted by triggerhappy2005

The trade that supplies such material has applied over rescent recent years a little spit and polish. Tried with gusto to make there trade as exceptable acceptable as on-line double glazing shopping.

Millwall, English is my first language and I have no idea what you are trying to say here. Could you elaborate for me please?

Btw you're welcome on the spell-check.

You missed something, too. Do I need to call upon my fellow Grammar Nazis and have you both drawn and quartered? I do agree that reading Millwall's posts make my eyes start puking blood and my brain commit butterknife seppuku. I haven't had too many problems understanding the message (though I disagree with it) he's trying to convey. Yet.

And damn you Asianator for beating me to it.
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Originally Posted by Consultant

Answer me this, though.

Would you sit down with your mom and bust out your favorite Porn mag? How about a DVD? Why not?

Honestly? Yeah, I would. But my mom's just that kind of woman. I don't think it'd be quite the same as getting a bunch of buddies together with a keg of Budweiser and critiquing the stud's performance (and mocking how bad the woman is at pretending climax), but it'd probably be pretty funny.

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Originally Posted by MrsGumby

Consultant,
First of all, kudos to you for coming here to share what is turning out to be an unpopular opinion. The fact that you care deeply enough about this to face the opposition is very admirable.

And then, my deepest sympathies to your friend. Loss of family and self due to addictive behaviors is such a terrbile loss. I am witnessing family members go through similar struggles due to unchecked addiction. Your friend is very lucky to have you stand by him through these struggles.

But I do still have to disagree with you that all pornography is damaging. I think it depends much more on the personality and the morals of the person watching the porn. What they see is one thing, how they choose to act upon that is another.

The poster that spoke of addictive personalities, is correct. Were it not pornography, your friend would likely have some other addictive vice. Alcohol, gambling, pornography, just fill in the blank here. The problem is that he has not learned to control his addictive impulses and he has not learned to effectively manage stressors and triggers in his life.

A skin flick does not make a man suddenly withdraw from his wife anymore than playing video games causes someone to suddenly become a serial killer. The underlying problem was already there. In this case, the marriage was already ill.

Your advice to young men not to watch pornography because it will make them view women differently kind of takes me aback. Women like porn, too. Does that mean that they watch it because they want to be treated like objects? Does a woman need to worry that enjoying pornographic material will make her suddenly want to be a masterbatory tool?

I agree with you that pornography in excess...pornography as replacement for healthy human relationships...pornography as an addiction...can be damaging. Buy it isn't the ponography at fault. It's the person and the addictive personality. There's nothing wrong with pornography in the hands of a healthy consenting adult...married or single.

Quoted because, honestly, I don't think anyone could have said it better or more succinctly. I respect your opinions, Consultant, but I think the lady has you here.

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Originally Posted by Consultant

My belief system is different than most, however - I believe that if you have a lustful thought about another woman then you are just as guilty because those should be thoughts and emotions reserved for your bride to whom you swore to be ever faithful. That's my take though...

I think that's an unrealistic and unfair view to have. Regardless of your spiritual beliefs, we're only human. Do I see other women when I'm already with one? Yeah, I do - I'd be flat out lying if I said I didn't see that brunette's ass. But does that mean I'd go bend her backwards over that table if she said it was okay? Nope.

I think it's unrealistic to expect that level of absolute dedication and unfailing faith in someone out of a human, but out of a god, or scion of a god? Hmm...

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Originally Posted by Consultant

also - if a sexually inexperienced 18 yr old watches a pile of porn before entering the real world - are you denying it can screw with his perception of actual intimacy? Do you think his view of women and sex in general might be a little twisted depending on the kind of porn he watched?

We're very impressionable beings - things imprint on our minds and never go away...in that respect, I believe porn can cause serious harm.

I agree with you here. As I said in my first post, porn is to real sex as Hollywood is to real life.

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Originally Posted by Kanati8869

If you let external stimuli control your life, that's your own fault and I'm sorry to say it, but you deserve what you get.

Echoing my thoughts on addiction. It won't be too long before the make a fixit drug for addiction, though. With a country full of addicts, why wouldn't they? They'd make billions.

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Originally Posted by Spike

What I have to say first of is that I come from a very religious family and have been attending catholic school all of my life. While you may not agree with what I have to say with this topic I believe it should be a sacred act in which a married couple get closer together as well as God. Contraception and masturbation are sins, The holy act of sex should be reserved between a married couple without any use of suppressing the miracle of birth (While you may think that contraception should be allowed for underprivileged families there is natural planning). I also have fell victum to watching porn, and regret not that I have hurt my relationship with God many times doing this act. I do not just feel bad that I let our holy father down, but I also see masturbation and pornography as cheating on our future spouse.

That level of religious conviction and belief is incomprehensible to me. I won't derail this thread (instead preferring to wait for the next religion-focused thread), but I will say that I think it's entirely irresponsible to make babies if you do not have the means to adequately support them and give them the best life you can possibly give them. When you have kids, everything else in your life slides back in importance - those kids are your responsibility, and you damn well better make sure you raise them to be good, intelligent people. Living in a heavily Hispanic area (please don't read this as racist; I'm stating facts), you see many families with several children, and most of them are Catholic of some kind. Last I checked, Catholicism was the no-contraception sect of Christianity.

I see all these kids, in a family that clearly doesn't have the means to support them, and I really wonder if their lives are going to be worth anything by the time they're my age. But it seems the extended family is, for Hispanics (or maybe it's for Catholics, too), more involved, so maybe they're covering their bases in that regard.

I'm a loyal soldier of Troy because I personally don't feel as though I'm mature or financially secure enough to be able to raise a kid the way I feel they should be raised. When or if I reach the point where I think I'm in a position capable of doing it right, maybe then I'll start making babies. But not before.

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Originally Posted by Consultant

porn can be worse than drugs and booze though - because you can sober up and the bad junk is out of your system. Images last a lifetime though.

When was the last time you heard of a guy stroking himself to death? And, no, really old guys with bad circulatory problems on Viagra or whatever don't count.

What about the last time you heard about some idiot frat boy die of alcohol poisoning? Drug-related violence?

It works both ways. But I think the worst thing you'd get into the ER for with porn is abrasions (ouch.)