Thread: U-Verse?

A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:

"Emma come first.

Den I come.

Den two asses come together.

I come once-a-more.

Two asses, they come together again.

I come again and pee twice.

Then I come one lasta time."


"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country . . we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives.. . "



"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell "Mississippi'."

The testicles of an Alberta midget hurt and ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem.


The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him.

The doctor put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia.


"Aha!" mumbled the doctor, and as he put his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again. "Aha!" said the doctor once more, and reached for his surgical scissors.

Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side.. Then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side.

The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt.

The doctor then told the midget to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt.

The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his balls were no longer aching.


The doctor said, "How does that feel now?"

The midget replied, "Perfect Doc, and I didn't even feel it. What did you do?"


The doctor replied "I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++++++

I know which airline I will fly!!

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket -- If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting.

He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc. but to no avail. The cabbie said (adopt appropriate dialect), "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!" So the businessman was forced to hitch-hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.

One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport.

Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck. The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make theguy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan.

The businessman got in the first cab in the line, "How much for a ride to the airport," he asked? "Fifteen bucks," came the reply. "And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?" "What?! Get the hell out of my cab." The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result.

When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked "How much for a ride to the airport?" The cabbie replied "fifteen bucks." The businessman said "ok" and off they went. Then, as the drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver.

nice!

LMFAO!

Not sure if this would be the place to post this or not.

Has anyone tried this new AT&T U-verse TV and broadband? IPTV & VDSL I think its called?

Currently I have Wideopenwest but its been down more often than I would like, and I cant bring myself to call Comcast again... 10 Years of those asshats was enough for me.

Dragon, i commented on the vDSL service in another thread. You can get up to 30mb/s d/l rates on the vDSL. Currently AT&T is the only ones supporting this in their infrastructure. It is limited to certain areas and I think in something like 7 states so far, Texas being one of those.

I am however in GA, and hopefully with AT&T purchasing Bellsouth, we'll start seeing the conversion in our neck of the woods. The problem is having the appropriate fiber runs to carry such bandwidth. if you can get it, i'd definitely check it out.

The only speeds they are offering are 6mbit down, and 1mbit up. The same speeds as I currently have.

I don't have a HD yet, I plan on waiting at least a year or 2 to get one, I want a new Bike 1st