Thread: L4D: Origins (a fanfic by Lardcake212)

It's been a while since I've been on the forums - for the last ten days, I've been out in Bumfuck Nowhere (aka Guernsey, Wyoming) for a training exercise with the 19th Special Forces Group. I had no cell phone access, no computer (nooooo!) and on an Army base in Guernsey, girls that typically rate a 5 are suddenly boosted up to 8. Yep, but on the whole, it was many forms of awesome. Firing the 50 cal may have been the best ten seconds of my life.

Anyway, back on point - I'm back home and have gotten used to the whole typing thing again, meaning that I will continue working on Origins. There's been a lot of helpful advice, people catching stuff I never actually thought about. I'll bear those in mind and work out the kinks as I write. To those people who gave advice, I thank you.

From this point, I may be slower than normal - I've begun another writing project, completely original and not fan fiction. Not quite a zombie novel, although if you stretch the limit of what defines zombie...

But, Francis doesn't know how to read. Louis says so in the game.

as Zoey once said, "Oh God Not Francis!" Love it. Well written, great imagination, perfect interperentation of the infected from a survivors point of view. I did hate the parts where francis and bill died, but it did keep me on the edge of my seat in their final moments. I don't like the remake though, with corrections and additions (EDIT: i mean without including the INDEX +13 days stuff). A perfect story is a boring story, but heres my feedback anyway: increase the number of infected encounters, have francis live a bit longer, and put a little more unfairness and desperation towards the others and not just zoey. other than that, it's as good as a novel. 9.7/10.


This post is dedicated in memory of francis and bill good job soldier

Hello, readers,

I'm not sure how many were following the rewrite of L4D: Origins, but in case you have been and are wondering "What the hell is taking so long?", I am in China right now, and like a fool, I left my work in progress at home. Forgot to transfer the file to a flash drive.

I still intend to finish this, by the way, so if you're exploding with anxiety, you only need to wait about two weeks.

Yes, it did occur that I could copy and paste my manuscript from online, but even considering that, I don't have a whole lot of free time out here anyway.

For now I am still taking suggestions. Carnage113 had some great ideas which I intend to fully implement. Mostly, meaning that the core survivors will not die - although this may see the introduction of new characters that will conveniently die. Because if there's one thing I love doing, it's killing off characters in horrendous ways.

Expect to see updates by June 24th or so, I promise that.

I don't think it matters if it takes a while to complete the remake. for me, the long wait is what makes fanfics so fun to read. also, love the new backgrounds for the survivors, brings in alot more horror to the initial outbreak and shows how truly unforgiving the outbreak was. you don't have to rush just because we're all super-impatient (myself included) take your time, and when it finally is finished it will be so much more exciting, seeing the numerous freakouts about the wait for clean sweep.
EDIT: one more idea. Include the finales if you plan to remake everything. I had an idea where in death toll, a smoker enters the boathouse and someone panics and kills it. the smoke sets off a smoke alarm and attracts the horde; same thing for blood harvest, but an exploding boomer breaks down the farmhouse door and triggers a brinks alarm. also, one more thing: increase witch and tank encounters.

I say good job, you wright more fan fictions. I am sad to see this story end

I realize that I'm just another guy saying how good this is, but really this is great. I mean, I've read the Halo novels, Mass Effect novels, many books based on games, and I must say this beats them all, except for the first 3 halo books. The detail is amazing, and I am hooked each time I read a new chapter. That being said, I do have a few suggestions, along with the others. The survival mode in Left 4 Dead, with the Lighthouse level, would have maid for an interesting extra chapter. I know that mode is impossible to beat, as it continues on forever, but one can take creative liberties when writing fanfic, as you said yourself. It would have been cool to see Louis, who I see as the clumsy one (based on the intro cutscene where he runs out into the streets) to activate the lighthouse by accident, while looking for ammo. Then, Bill and Zoey and Louis and Jen try to barricade themselves, while Jen creates the cure there. It just seems more L4D related, as you said it should be. Far be it from me to give an excellent writer like you suggestions, but the lighthouse would have, in my opinion, been a much better last stand than the final chapter. But that's just my opinion. Good luck on the remake.

Originally Posted by bgdiner

I realize that I'm just another guy saying how good this is, but really this is great. I mean, I've read the Halo novels, Mass Effect novels, many books based on games, and I must say this beats them all, except for the first 3 halo books. The detail is amazing, and I am hooked each time I read a new chapter. That being said, I do have a few suggestions, along with the others. The survival mode in Left 4 Dead, with the Lighthouse level, would have maid for an interesting extra chapter. I know that mode is impossible to beat, as it continues on forever, but one can take creative liberties when writing fanfic, as you said yourself. It would have been cool to see Louis, who I see as the clumsy one (based on the intro cutscene where he runs out into the streets) to activate the lighthouse by accident, while looking for ammo. Then, Bill and Zoey and Louis and Jen try to barricade themselves, while Jen creates the cure there. It just seems more L4D related, as you said it should be. Far be it from me to give an excellent writer like you suggestions, but the lighthouse would have, in my opinion, been a much better last stand than the final chapter. But that's just my opinion. Good luck on the remake.

that in my opinion is an incredibly brilliant idea. that would be perfect for the cure scenario, and i can imagine louis (being retarted as always) tripping the lighthouse and summoning the horde. one of the better ideas for this fanfic, hope he uses it.

Hm, I'll have to remember that Lighthouse idea. One negative part of L4D: Origins v1 was the fact that LT Jen Carlyle was able to create a full fledged cure to the virus, from a bunch of stuff in her magic medicine box - all while flying Blackhawk helicopters, killing zombies and in general, being a complete badass.

In fan fiction terms, that is apparently known as a Mary Sue - a perfect character who has no real flaws. In this rewrite I plan to introduce Jen a bit more realistically, and she'll have fewer crazy skills like helicopter flying. I'll try to make her more human as well, have her interact more personally with the survivors. Maybe we'll see some romances, but I suck at writing those, so maybe not. I'll think of it later.

As of now, the rewrite stands still at the point where Bill meets Louis. Afterwards, Zoey/Francis and Bill/Louis will be forced to evacuate their respective hideouts and happen upon each other. Perhaps with a gunfight mixed in, and maybe a tyranosaurus rex on fire. Or not, actually.

Updates coming within a week!

lol flamin T-rex. actually the gunfight idea sounds great. they're first meeting up to this point has been basically friendly, but a violent first encounter sounds more realistic considering the violent insanity from other survivors. btw, I think you should go ahead with a quick romance thing with jen and some1 else (not bill, to obvious). also, maybe have jen NOT make the cure by herself, but stumble upon other research from others and piece the cure together. neway, im off to read your new chapter.