L4D: Origins (a fanfic by Lardcake212)

**Shazzo** · 04-01-09, 05:48 AM

Well, you know how I feel about the story.

One thing I was hoping you could clarify though. That extra virus Zoey had... it was the witch mutation wasn't it? I mean, greying skin, glowing orange eyes... was that it, or a new mutation entirely?

BTW, engine is going well. Found out a cool technique to interact with the environment. I've also started working on sprites. They're not great, but I've never been very good at making them. I'll see if I can post some here later on.

There was something I wanted to ask you about though. I was planning on making a level in Zoey's nightmare, and I wanted to fill it with things that traumatised her, like maybe zombie Leannes and zombie versions of Louis, Francis and Bill. What do you think?

Oh, and for those scratching their heads, I'm collaborating with Lardcake to make a game based on Origins.

**Lardcake212** · 04-01-09, 10:51 AM

Shazzo,

Yes, that'll be fine. Do bear in mind that in my rewriting L4D: Origins, a few things might end up changing which would be inconsistent with the first draft. So if there's anything concerning major plot points or whatnot, it may be a good idea to contact me and get clarification - that way, you don't end up creating a level that doesn't exist in the second draft of Origins or something dreadful like that.

Everyone else:
The first chapter of the rewrite is up on fanfiction.net - hopefully it's an improvement, and if it's not, stop me now and tell me what needs to be done so I can nip the problem in the bud.

Here is the exact link: L4D: Origins, a Left 4 Dead fanfic - FanFiction.Net

**eridor0** · 04-01-09, 03:21 PM

Impressive opening, I have to wonder if you got the idea of the first case from World War Z? Not that that is a bad thing.

**lusence** · 04-02-09, 04:29 AM

Wow! Only think i have to complain about is the 'cure'. Jen some how formulated this cure from some random medic packs? bah! but besides that, i think your a good writer. a fun read, although sometimes i felt like i was treading water, i dont know. but good job. id like to see you re-write this with way less military and way more gore. if you know what i mean.

And Zoey, should of left her for dead. You led her up to her big scene, then robbed her of it. Leave her with her drama. Almost..... She missed her brain at the last second? nah, shes dead. her brain matter is splattered over the grass.

**Shazzo** · 04-02-09, 06:07 AM

Well, I won't be starting the actual levels until the engine's done, and that's going to take quite a while. By the time it's ready, you'll have probably redone half the story.

BTW, please don't kill Zoey in version 2. Her storyline was great, and for her to die by her own hand after enduring so much, that'd just be tragic.

UPDATE:
I've set up my Esnips folder for the game, where I'll be keeping stuff like sprites and demos. At the moment, you can find all the sprites I've done so far. Let me know what you think, especially you Lardcake.
http://www.esnips.com/web/Left4DeadOriginsGame

**Seanolite** · 04-04-09, 03:33 AM

Originally Posted by Shazzo

BTW, please don't kill Zoey in version 2. Her storyline was great, and for her to die by her own hand after enduring so much, that'd just be tragic.

That's silly. If Zoey had died, it would have made the story very different, more than likely, better.

Just compare Zoey to that lady in the Dark Knight (Rachel?). She was a very prominent character in both movies, and when she was killed, it was a major turning point in the movie. It showed that anyone can be a victim. Therefore, Zoey dying would shock the reader (as expressed by most of the people that read 'Clean Sweep') and make room for the other characters to grow.

I noticed that Louis was neglected in the story. It wasn't that he wasn't developed well, it's that he was (to the best of my knowledge) NEVER injured, same with Bill. They're all immune, take advantage of that. Get some zombies on their asses.

**Shazzo** · 04-05-09, 05:54 AM

I can see how that makes sense, it's just that she's my favourite survivor... ah well.

Anyway, engine test 1 of Origins the Game is ready.
Get it here.

Left 4 Dead Origins fangame eSnips Folder

**The Sandman** · 04-19-09, 07:49 PM

Lardcake212, i just gotta .... U got an amazing gift my friend. You compelled me to make an account just so u can read this! I've seen that you wrote you were in College congrats. IDK what career you looking into but really look into being an Author as a side job. That was a story of EPIC PROPORTIONS! U can't let people keep you down man let em hate who the hell cares?! I would read that if it was a book man. I felt apart of the story you depicted the environments so nicely I felt as if I was there. I was sad when Francis died. And whatever happened to Bill? You never wrote that he died only that it cut to static. And what became of Fairfield? Zoey? Louis? Did Zoey and Louis get together and have 2 kids named Francis and Bill? who knows....

**Shazzo** · 04-20-09, 03:02 AM

Version 1.5 of Origins the Game is out.

Left 4 Dead Origins fangame eSnips Folder

I'd say more, but I'm in a bit of a rush right now. Enjoy!

**Voodoo Shoe** · 04-28-09, 07:44 AM

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude! - i will be honest i only read the prologue (only because i find it hard reading from a monitor...hurts my eyes

) but i like what you have written...and i will read more!

Can i ask, are you writing as if someone is telling us a story? if yes then i will comment on something